Tuesday, December 28, 2010

ExHaUsTiOn

He has been the greatest.  I am so lucky.  The holidays are not his favorite, but this year he managed to make it through with a smile.  Family is amazing and he is my amazing family.

While our time has flown by quickly this December Jason and I have spent some good time together.  We have also had some very nice times (although short) with our families.  Unconventional at times but filled with love.  A few presents, and some quality time remembering why we enjoy spending time together. 

All of this has led to me having some extreme exhaustion issues.  It is a very good thing that our events have not coincided.  Today has been another day of rest.  I had planned to get much more done than happened today.  But I guess things have a way of working out.  I will count on that. 

I am typing right now but really all that I feel like doing is sleeping, of course last night that is exactly what my body did not want to be doing.  Oh well.  I managed to buy my first kindle book.  THREE CUPS OF TEA... I have been wanting to read it for a while, I'd even borrowed a copy of it, but haven't been able to get it read, arms get to tired holding the book up. 

I'd like to type more, but I just sliced open my finger.... so it is adieu for now.

Pink Doberman

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

SiMpLe BuT GoOd

Yes it has been forever since I have written again.  I’ve tried.  It isn’t that I haven’t thought about it or haven’t started writing several things. 

Nothing seemed to work, nothing was able to be finished.  Just blurbs of bits. 

I was reminded again that I should write.  My husband doesn’t know if he is still married to me or not.  He was joking of course.  But this is where he goes to find out what is going on in my mind.  I told him we could talk… he wasn’t that keen on that idea. 

Which isn’t to surprising.. I don’t seem to be able to keep my mind tracking on the same subject when I speak.  I think I do fairly well when I write, but I still jump from subject to subject, leave things out, or forget to follow up with a subject I have started but then I think I did..

The new lenses:  I have been acclimating to them.  I can walk better than when I first got them.  Things are getting better I think, although it still feels as if my thinking processes are all jacked up.  I still get tired way to fast.  I hope that can be helped.

I have been working on several developing projects.  That has been keeping me busy, and I am learning more as I go along as well!  I like that.  I like to feel productive and that I am learning new things. 

I’ve been “gifting” Jason with things this month as well.  It has been fun.  He’s gotten snow boots, socks, and a couple of shirts.  He got me a computer.  It doesn’t really compare.  I just got it today, I am downloading and backing up files as I type on this soon to be his computer.  So I guess the good thing is that with his gift he has allowed me to gift my computer to him.   Or at least it will when I get this thing all cleaned off.  Right now it has a very full hard drive.  Like so full that it shuts its self down and asks me to remove programs..  I can still do things on it, except after nearly every session I need to wipe it from the little temporary files.  Guess I am a little hard on these things. 

At any rate, things should soon be moving along much faster for me.  I am grateful for that.  Excited even.  Both for my fingertips and hopefully my mind as well. 

I’ve been home most days the weather outside gives me fits, I get all stiff achy and exhausted.  Not to mention I can’t get myself warm once I get cold..  Not a good thing.  I kind of figured I might be like this so I’ve got piles of things to do to keep busy.  I hate being bored. 

We have been getting piles of cards.  We made cards this year to send out.  The first time in YEARS!!  It felt good.  We both worked on the project which made it go so much better.  I have a hard time doing some of those things on my own.  I often get to tired to finish physical projects by the deadlines with out wrecking myself at least. 

The cards we have been receiving are properly displayed the letters and notes are wonderful to read, and the pictures!  Well the pictures are amazing!  We love them.  We’ll display everyone’s pictures all year long!  Which is pretty fun for us! 

Well at any rate, it isn’t much but it is what has been going on.  Life is good.  Simple but good. 

Hope yours is also. 

Blessings for this busy season.

Pink Doberman

Monday, December 6, 2010

KeEPiNG TrAcK

This is not a complaint it is just a recognition…

These past six plus years have been a trying time for me mentally.  Everything I do, every relationship I have, and how I think have all had to be completely adjusted. 

Some friendships have fallen to the wayside, others have grown stronger. 

It still hurts when I think of the good I was involved in doing prior to my accident.  I was in charge of designing and implementing a teen leadership development week for District 5650 in Rotary.  We were hosting exchange students almost every year, I would pick up trash with my local Rotary Club and hand out boxes of food for the holidays to people.  I was doing all of these things to not only help others but to push myself to become more comfortable around others and in different situations. 

I’ve written before about my MK business and what I was doing with that.  In a short snippet I was gearing ourselves to be financially secure, while growing my comfort level and business acumen.  Each day was a test for me, a push to work through my issues and fears.  While I was working on my own issues, I was working to help others face and deal with theirs as well.  I focused on helping others, which in turn allowed me to help myself.

I am finally starting to feel as if I am pointed in the right direction since the accident.  There is so much more that has gone on that I am not able to talk about just yet.  It will shock you when I am able to finally put it into print. 

I am currently waiting for my THIRD set of lenses for my Traumatic Brain Injury treatment.  (  To learn more about that click on About Tonja at the top of this page ) 

We are sending out real holiday cards for the first time in six years I think.  To top it off I designed them, and Jason took the pictures!  If you’d like one be sure I have your address!   I’ve felt guilty for years not getting this done.  I LOVE getting the yearly updates, I especially love the pictures people include.  They decorate my kitchen and dining area for the year, I make a collage of them and then they are displayed.  It is fun to see how everyone changes!  It is also handy in recognizing peoples children and remembering their names.  I do wish people included their children’s ages or grades on them though.  I have difficulty in remembering those things. 

I am weird I suppose, but every card or personal letter that I have ever gotten I have saved.  Things on my computer or things that have been emailed to me I try to save but often times they just become lost in the overwhelming data, and they turn into virtual junk.  I am going to have to work on a better filing system for those things as well I think. 

Speaking of sending out cards, I have been working diligently at recreating my address list.  So many faces have changed in my life.  I have been so discombobulated, along with people moving, my lack of organizational skills, and computer and phone documentation lost or being non transferable recreating my address list has been a daunting task.  I have been determined and I have been working at it now for weeks! 

While these things never reach a final completion.  I now have an adequate grasp on the task and will be able to print labels for all of my cards.  I ordered them with preprinted return addresses so everything is ready to go.  No handwriting.  While I am able to write, I am not able to write for long or legibly as well any more.  My hand just doesn’t work like that these days.  It is also going better because Jason is also involved in the process. 

I’ve also been taking more online classes at creativeLIVE in addition to teaching myself how to use some computer programs better.  I will never fully understand EXCEL in fact I really am not sure if it will ever be possible for me to actually know how to use that program.  But I am learning how to use Photoshop better.  Not that I want to “completely edit our pictures”  I do want to be able to process them properly though.  I would also like to use it at some point to make fine art with or be hired to do jobs in graphic design or editing. 

I guess that is the direction I am headed at this moment.  As far as taking pictures goes.. I’ve been taking pictures of the beautiful birds outside my window lately!  It makes me so happy to see and listen to my birds.  Some how through this activity my lonely feelings have lessened.  I am happy about that!  One of the neatest things, is that the birds are pretty tolerant now of having me around.  They like to watch me through the window, and they even perch on the sill to tell me they are out of food.  When I or Jason fill up the feeders now they no longer completely disappear, in fact they are eagerly waiting inches away in some cases for us to refill their food.

Luka is doing well, he’s getting lumpy now.  Which I can’t say that I am that excited about, but he is still in good health and still able to hang with me and help me as I need.  So that is fantastic. 

When my new lenses arrive, I am under instructions to begin walking.  So we will be out and about doing that, hopefully somewhere warm!

Blessings,

Pink Doberman